Day Three (cont'd): Redding, CA to Eugene, OR
Mile 676.1 -- Back on the road...again. Jon's driving this time.
Mile 683 -- We drive by the future site of the Tragedy at the Family Fun Center. Also noteworthy this mile: Jeff doesn't take very good notes.
Mile 699 -- 400 miles to Portland! Except we're not going there tonight. Hi, useless signage.
Mile 702 -- Rain begins again. Oh yeah, we still need windshield wipers. luckily, we're 398 miles away from the nearest city.
Mile 722 -- Bear crossing sign! (No, Cristin, not that kind of bear! Grrr!)
Mile 757 -- Torrential rains turn into a fine mist. Rainbow ensues.
Mile 795 -- "Welcome to Oregon!" Pop. 3,421,399.
Mile 799 -- Welcome to Wall of Fog. Visibility: 3.421399 inches.
Mile 802 -- Jeff hates Oregon, because he can't see it.
Mile 807 -- Ashland, OR. Jon announces, "It looks like West Virginia." We pull off looking for a rest room. The sign said it was off this exit. Hi, we have to pee!
Mile 809 -- HI, LIAR SIGNS THAT PROMISED A POTTY! Hi, we may wet ourselves. Stupid wet underpants in Oregon.
Mile 810 -- We finally arrive at the Pee Station. Road Trip Lesson #2: In Oregon, all gas stations are full service. "It's state law."
Mile 813 -- Trying to find the I-5 North by going back the way we came proves to be a foolish move, as we almost drive directly onto the 5 South. Jon makes a violent U-turn and nearly drives us off a cliff. Heart attack ensues.
Mile 816 -- Apparently, the entrance to the 5 North is one second away from the Full Service Pee Station we just frequented. Hi, we're dumb.
Mile 853 -- 145 Miles to Eugene, OR.
Mile 862 -- Dinner Break at Della's Diner. We love Aurora, our waitress.
Mile 864 -- Jon hates Jeff's iTunes for some reason.
Mile 879 -- iTunes hates Jon back with the theme from the show Jeff and Jon are running away from. "A little feng shui just north of LA," everyone.
Mile 883 -- Total Darkness on the roads, both in front of and behind us. Jon is convinced that zombies, Jason, Freddy, the Jeepers Creeper and other monsters are around. Jon forces Jeff to check the backseat to make sure no one is lurking. Not surprisingly, no one is there.
Mile 888 -- We're at mile 888! Apparently, Jeff still doesn't know how to take good notes.
Mile 889 -- Jeff decides to play LFO's "Summer Girls" song from HIS iTunes collection. And no, Jon didn't request it...but he is singing along.
Mile 900 -- 98 miles to Eugene!
Mile 902 -- It's raining. Again.
Mile 912 -- Sharp curves nearly kill us! AHHHH!!
Mile 945 -- Jeff is convinced he has Jizzy-eye from the motel last night.
Mile 998 -- Arrival at the Best Western hotel in Eugene, OR. A chain hotel, in order to avoid a repeat of last night's event. Luckily, there are no homos in Eugene, OR.
Mile 683 -- We drive by the future site of the Tragedy at the Family Fun Center. Also noteworthy this mile: Jeff doesn't take very good notes.
Mile 699 -- 400 miles to Portland! Except we're not going there tonight. Hi, useless signage.
Mile 702 -- Rain begins again. Oh yeah, we still need windshield wipers. luckily, we're 398 miles away from the nearest city.
Mile 722 -- Bear crossing sign! (No, Cristin, not that kind of bear! Grrr!)
Mile 757 -- Torrential rains turn into a fine mist. Rainbow ensues.
Mile 795 -- "Welcome to Oregon!" Pop. 3,421,399.
Mile 799 -- Welcome to Wall of Fog. Visibility: 3.421399 inches.
Mile 802 -- Jeff hates Oregon, because he can't see it.
Mile 807 -- Ashland, OR. Jon announces, "It looks like West Virginia." We pull off looking for a rest room. The sign said it was off this exit. Hi, we have to pee!
Mile 809 -- HI, LIAR SIGNS THAT PROMISED A POTTY! Hi, we may wet ourselves. Stupid wet underpants in Oregon.
Mile 810 -- We finally arrive at the Pee Station. Road Trip Lesson #2: In Oregon, all gas stations are full service. "It's state law."
Mile 813 -- Trying to find the I-5 North by going back the way we came proves to be a foolish move, as we almost drive directly onto the 5 South. Jon makes a violent U-turn and nearly drives us off a cliff. Heart attack ensues.
Mile 816 -- Apparently, the entrance to the 5 North is one second away from the Full Service Pee Station we just frequented. Hi, we're dumb.
Mile 853 -- 145 Miles to Eugene, OR.
Mile 862 -- Dinner Break at Della's Diner. We love Aurora, our waitress.
Mile 864 -- Jon hates Jeff's iTunes for some reason.
Mile 879 -- iTunes hates Jon back with the theme from the show Jeff and Jon are running away from. "A little feng shui just north of LA," everyone.
Mile 883 -- Total Darkness on the roads, both in front of and behind us. Jon is convinced that zombies, Jason, Freddy, the Jeepers Creeper and other monsters are around. Jon forces Jeff to check the backseat to make sure no one is lurking. Not surprisingly, no one is there.
Mile 888 -- We're at mile 888! Apparently, Jeff still doesn't know how to take good notes.
Mile 889 -- Jeff decides to play LFO's "Summer Girls" song from HIS iTunes collection. And no, Jon didn't request it...but he is singing along.
Mile 900 -- 98 miles to Eugene!
Mile 902 -- It's raining. Again.
Mile 912 -- Sharp curves nearly kill us! AHHHH!!
Mile 945 -- Jeff is convinced he has Jizzy-eye from the motel last night.
Mile 998 -- Arrival at the Best Western hotel in Eugene, OR. A chain hotel, in order to avoid a repeat of last night's event. Luckily, there are no homos in Eugene, OR.
posted by Marble Notebook at 11:45 PM
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