Saturday, May 07, 2005

Blind Ambition

Around 8:30 tonight, I noticed something strange while I was blinking--Every time I closed my eyes for half a second, my right eye was in pain. You don't realize how often you blink until it starts to hurt. I'm now convinced that I got eye-AIDS or chlamydia from the pillow in the Beck's Sex motel. ("Ask for the Beck's Infects special!")

When I wake up tomorrow, there's a chance my right eye will be sealed shut forever. I'll never be able to watch a 3-D movie again, or see one of those computer-generated 3-D images that everyone always claims to be able to see, except that they look like white noise on canvas to me. On the upside, I'll save 50% on LASIK surgery and maybe get a really cool eye-patch with the image of my tattoo on it.

In other news, Julia called Jon today and told him that my posts were "dark." I'm not totally sure why. I'd go off on a tangent now, but I feel as though my jizzy-eye may start oozing on the keyboard, and I'm pretty sure Jon wants to post as well.



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